----------THE SEDUCTION OF PAOLO HEWITT-------
The Oasis StoryCHARACTERS:
Paolo Hewitt
Alan McGee
Bonehead
Corpse I
Corpse II
ACT 1. SCENE 1.
The Castle of Alan McGee. Scotland. 1993.
BONEHEAD: Master, we have a visitor!
ALAN: No one disturbs me while I'm working! Send him away!
BONEHEAD: But Master, it's Paolo Hewitt; he says he has an appointment . . .
ALAN: Paolo Hewitt? The Cappuccino Kid? Why didn't you say so? Send him in!
PAOLO: Hello, Alan.
ALAN: Do come in, Paolo, and make yourself comfortable. Would you like a glass of wine? Some brioche? Perhaps a black beauty?
PAOLO: An espresso please, and maybe a biscuit of some sort.
ALAN: Bonehead! A double espresso and a biscotti for Mr. Hewitt!
BONEHEAD: Yes, master!
PAOLO: So, Alan, why have you called me here? What's cooking for the Creation label?
ALAN: Actually, it's my greatest "creation" of all! Come, step into my labaratory . . .
ACT 1. SCENE 2.
Into the labaratory. Two Cadavers lie on the tables.
Into the labaratory. Two Cadavers lie on the tables.
PAOLO: This is the new group you've signed to Creation?
ALAN: Yes, they're fantastic! I call them "Oasis".
PAOLO: But they're just mutilated corpses . . .
ALAN: Yes, we're still in pre-production.
PAOLO: Where did you find the bodies?
ALAN: In Alabama.
PAOLO: The actually look familiar. Wait a minute; isn't that Steve Gaines and Ronnie Van Zant of Lynyrd Skynyrd?
ALAN: Yes, yes, with modifications, of course.
PAOLO: Modifications?
ALAN: Yes, to get the perfect composite for this new project, we took a forearm from Badfinger, a stump from Malcolm Owen, even a few toes from John Lennon, but it's mostly Skynyrd: with mod hairstyles, of course.
PAOLO: But Skynyrd is a Southern rock band; Creation is a quintessentially British label... what's the connection?
ALAN: Can't you see, Paolo? Skynyrd took the aesthetics, the drugs, and long hair from the hippies and tied it to conservatism, nationalism, and a working-class sensibility. It was a multiplatinum strategy that'll work here too! Only instead of "Southern rock", we'll call it "Brit-pop".
PAOLO: You're crazy; it'll never work!
ALAN: Crazy? They called me crazy at the Warner Brothers, too.
PAOLO: But what about their minds, Alan? Their identities?
ALAN: The brains come tonight, after the Man City/Westham game; Bonehead will seize them from some wayward holligans.
PAOLO: But then they'll just be common footballers; that's not rock 'n' roll, Alan! Rock 'n' roll is Art School and style and ideas. Rock 'n' roll isn't Hooligans and lads!
ALAN: It is now, Mr. Cappuccino! I guess you'd better switch to Maxwell's House! Hahahahaha!!!
BONEHEAD: Master, the brains are here!
ALAN: Excellent! Place them in the skulls, gently.
BONEHEAD: Yes, master.
ALAN: Gently, I said!
BONEHEAD: Sorry, master.
ALAN: Now crank them up toward the lightning; electricity will give them breath again!
ACT 1. SCENE 3.
They crank the bodies up toward the sky; lightning and thunder crash.
ALAN: [Shrieking] LIVE OASIS! LIVE! MAKE BRITAIN GREAT ONCE MORE! [Starts singing "Rule Britannia".]
PAOLO: It's apocalypse! Lynyrd Skynyrd coopting the beloved symbols of modernism!
ALAN: It has to happen Paolo; without rock 'n' roll, England is just another Portugal! The regain our global preeminence, we need Oasis! But we can't do it alone. We need your help . . . We need your writing!
BONEHEAD: Master, the rain has stopped!
ALAN: Bring them down, Bonehead!
They bring the bodies down from the roof. They're speaking nonstop.
ALAN: They're beautiful!
PAOLO: They do look quite stunning, actually.
ALAN: Listen to them!
[Cadavers are speaking loudly and idiotically.]
PAOLO: It's wonderful!
ALAN: I can feel England swinging already!
[Cue music: Oasis "Roll With It"]
[Fade to black.]
FIN
Ur The Psychic Soviet av - frekvente mentorn - Ian F. Svenonius.
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Eskatologiska poparrangemang
Perfekta, fulländade, otvetydigt storslagna poparrangemang: finns dessa? Det råder delade meningar om den saken. I min fenomenvärld, där popmusik antagligen är den sista utpost som ännu inte utsatts för verklighetssinnad men ack så gråskalig postmodernistisk skepsis, skulle jag tro att så nog är fallet. Här finns ännu ledsnören. Nog vet jag också att det är lönlöst att likt efter en helig gral försöka finna själva Poparrangemanget. Blott kan vi ta, förhoppningsvis, små, små steg i rätt riktning. Här följer två välfunna förslag, och utmärkande tycks vara att arrangemangen får ackompajerande sång att kännas en smula överflödig, ibland direkt hämmande. The Wake - Pale Spectre
Onekligen alstrade The Wake sin största stunder på Factory Records, före tiden på Sarah Records. Bandets så karaktäristisk suggestiva synthdränkta postpunk, gjordes bäst på 1985 års album Here Comes Everybody. Notabelt är inledande 'O Pamela' (vilken åter aktualiserats i och med Nouvelle Vagues degenererade stöpning) samt 'World Of Her Own', vars delparti med det så gränslöst vackra och intelligenta samspelet mellan munspel, synth, bas och trummor gör att den, i princip, lika väl hade kunnat rubricera denna spalt. På nyutgivningen av albumet medföljer också de singlar bandet släppte efter Harmony. De allra flesta av dessa håller en löjligt hög kvalitet (popregelrätta 'Gruesome Castle', 'Talk About The Past' - med Vini Reilly på piano - och phaseade 'Of The Matter'). Singeln 'Pale Spectre' är dock extraordinär, på så sätt att dess så direkt slående kakafoniska, svärmiska, helt idealiska arrangemang på allvar får mig att undra om detta någonsin kommer att kunna överträffas.
The Farmer's Boys - For You
The Farmer's Boys är ett stundtals perfekt popband. Andra gånger, i synnerhet under senare delen av karriären, lite väl buskislustiga för sitt eget bästa. Bandets allra mest utmärkande signum är just de ibland helt förkrossande välkomponerade och tighta arrangemangen. Det skulle följaktligen vara missvisande framhäva 'For You' alltför mycket i relation till övriga låtar på debutalbumet Get Out and Walk från 1983. Jag talar i synnerhet om inledande 'Matter of Fact', 'Probably One of the Best Investments', 'More Than A Dream', Jens Lekman-doftande 'Woke Up This Morning' och 'Wailing Wall'. Men, onekligen var havet aldrig så skimrande som i 'For You'.
Lyssna även på 12'-versionen.
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Nedrig pastisch
Detta är ett bekymrande tilltag på ett av pophistoriens mest oklanderliga exempel på omslagsestetik.
Humor? Hyllning? Nej. Blott djupt bekymrande.
"All you Parker Lewis fans out there. The man's back. With his hair white, his cigarett in place and those three amazing new tracks to go with "Bash the cynicals", all put together with an astonishing album cover made by MFIT long time associate and dear friend Philip Cristofor." Varför?
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